Miss Piggy Pearls of Wisdom

If you're properly attired, you're hired. And if you're not, I don't care how “Qualified” you may be – it will be a case of “clothes, but no cigar.”

You might try a more stationary pet, like a clam or a potato.

Home décor is a matter of personal taste although ill-conceived suggestions from husbands may spoil the overall effect.

Plants are like lamps. You plug them in and they turn right on. When they stop working, just unplug them, throw them away and plug in another.

When there is something good on TV that everyone is going to watch, the other channels should be courteous and run something like “The History of Socks.”

Many people have been to schools where they were taught useful phrases, how much to charge and – most important – what to wear.