Miss Piggy's Advice on Love and Romance!

A good place to find a date is under “Eligible Men” in the Yellow Pages.

If you place an ad in the “Personals,” Moi has only one word of advice: lie.

The definition of an eligible man: He’s breathing.

Who should ask whom out? As long as he’s paying, who cares?

Your future together holds such promise. Why ruin it by telling him your plans?

Only time can heal a broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.

How far should a girl go on the first date? Tucson. However, if you live in Texas, you can probably go a bit farther.

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