Miss Piggy Answers Questions, page 2

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Question:

Hi,

I am trying to answer a question on a quiz site. It asks "According to Miss Piggy, what would satan do with Squirrels?"

Thank you,
Jason

Answer:

Dearest Jason,

To quote another female public figure (blonde, but not nearly as popular as moi, having not won the nomination for President, as I did in 1980), "I don't recall."

Désolé.

Kissy, kissy,
Miss Piggy  :@)

Question:

hi i was wondering who is the voice of you or if there is one.

michelle

Answer:

Dearest Michelle,

I'm wondering why you would ask that. Whose voice do you think it is? It's moi's.

Kissy, kissy,
Miss Piggy    :@)

P.S. Rumor has it that Frank Oz does a fabulous impersonation of moi.

Question:

Hey Miss Piggy! I don't like you! Bye!!!,

~Melissa

Answer:

Dearest "~Melissa",

Moi wonders exactly what that "~" in front of your name means. Could it be that you are not sure who you are? In mathematical terms (I am a whiz at math), it means "approximately" or possibly in your case, "sort of."

That aside, moi also wonders why you would send me such a message. Of course, I know why. It's jealousy. Pure jealousy. Moi runs into this sort of thing all the time. I try to let it slide, because, sister, if you were here...

Let's just not say what would happen.

Miss Piggy

Question:

Miss Piggy, I have always been a devoted fan. Let me say that I love your latest look. Who would have ever thought that someone so gorgeous could look even better over time?

I'm just concerned about one thing. In Kermit's latest book Before You Leap, he makes reference to the fact that you tend to overspend and stick the Frog of your life with the bills.

Now, please don’t take this out on Kermit. He's a famous Frog, and your husband, but you are an even more famous Pig. You've had perfume and books of your own, and pinup calendars, and I'm sure Bernie is a great agent. Surely you can afford to take Kermie out sometimes. Divahood is one thing, but you need to set a good example to all those impressionable girls who aren't as lucky in their relationships as you are. We girls have to be able to take care of ourselves, after all.

So please let the girls know that they need a career of their own and money of their own. Okay? It would be a shame if a diva so gifted didn't do all she could for the youth of the world.

Kisses,
Treva

Answer:

Dearest Treva,

You certainly know how to flatter a girl. Keep it up.

Although I can certainly see your point about girls needing a career and money of their own, as moi has plenty of, I am old fashioned when it comes to romance. In my book, the man pays. The more, the better!

As to those girls not a lucky as moi in relationships, my advice to them is to become as much like me as possible. Learn form the master. They will soon find the fellows falling over them. I know, it happens to me all the time.

Kissy, kissy,
Miss Piggy  :@)

Question:

Dear Miss Piggy,

I am really a huge fan of you, and I absolutely love your movies. Tell me, what's the secret to being a great singer, and for being an awesome karate pig?

Your #1 fan,
Anna

Answer:

To my dear #1 fan, Anna,

What is the secret to my being a great singer? It's really no secret. It's simply a talent I was born with. Great talent is sometimes a curse, you know. Always being expected to sing at every occasion. Sometimes I would like to just relax and enjoy an outing with my beloved Kermie. But someone always recognizes me, of course. And more often than not, they beg me to sing something. Naturally, I do. I would never disappoint my adorning fans.

Being an awesome karate pig is another story. Years of disciplined practice resulted in the recognized-around-the-world precision karate chop which has been known to send a hunk of a frog across the room.

Kissy, kissy,
Miss Piggy  :@)

Question:

Being the most loveable couple I know, what did you get toi beloved kermie for valentine?

Kind regards

Irene

Answer:

Dearest Irene,

Yes, Kermit and I are the most lovable couple.

What did I give him for Valentine's Day?  I gave him what any loving wife would give.  A box of chocolates, five pounds, in a big red fancy heart.  We ate it while watching old family movies.

Kissy, kissy,
Miss Piggy    :@)

Question:

Dear Miss Piggy,

Another question for you: who is your greatest celebrity influence? I heard somewhere it's Peggy Lee. Is this true?

Your #1 Fan,
Anna

Answer:

Dearest #1 Fan, Anna,

Peggy Lee it is. I've been told that I am the spitting image of her.

I feel a particular kinship to Miss Lee because she was born on a farm, as I was, and her dear father died when she was quite young. As I'm sure you know, my father also died when I was just a teensy piglet.

Her TV and movie career spanned decades as mine has. Her "soft and cool" singing has been my inspiration and I try to incorporate it into my own unique style.

Frankie Sinatra could well have also said of moi, "Her regal presence is pure elegance and charm."

Kissy, kissy,
Miss Piggy

Question:

Hello,

I was wondering if you knew if a product made by Calgon was still available. It is called Miss Piggy's Pink Bananas Bubble bath. My Mema used to buy it for me when I was little and the smell of this bubble bath reminds me of her. I would really love to find this product. Thanks for your help.

Aislinn B.

Answer:

Aislinn, dearest,

Moi is delighted that vous has such fond memories of my Pink Bananas Bubble Bath. I agree, the fragrance was divine. Your Mema was a sweetheart to get it for vous.

Alas, Calgon has not made this bubble bath since the 1990s. The specter of a few broken arms and legs did nothing to dissuade them from discontinuing it. However, if they had known at the time how the fragrance reminded vous of your dear Mema, they may have changed their mind.

If I had only known...
Miss Piggy  :@)

Question:

Dear Miss Piggy,

I love your movies and the way you always use moi when your talking about yourself. My question is why does Kermit always act like he's not your husband?

P.S. Email me back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love S.O.V.S,

Haley :-)

Answer:

Dearest Haley,

Moi always answers email from ardent admirers. Fans such as vous are close to my heart.

This is a question I get often. It is all part of his act. You see, if he acted in public the way he does in private, his fans would be jealous. At home, he is as amorous and attentive as anyone in love would be. This is an arrangement that we have had from the beginning. I actually find it kind of cute when he acts that way.

AAP,
Miss Piggy  :@)

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