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Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog

What does Miss Piggy say her married name is?
Ans: "Miss the Frog."

The first time I saw Kermit, moi's future flashed before me in a pink, rosy glow. The first time Kermit saw Moi, he was lost for words.

Naturally, I am the star of this movie ("The Muppet Movie"). I play myself. The story? It's a love story about Moi and my True Love, Kermit. It's the story of how we first met. This movie (she said, as she tossed back her long, blond hair) is exceedingly romantic.

Every year I bake a batch of gingerbread frogs. Kermy and all my friends just, ah, pig out on them.

(What's the best present she's ever received?) A hug and a kiss from Kermy once after we had a Christmas Eve fight. I had tried to hang his stockings by the chimney with care. Unfortunately, he was still in them.

Kermy and I always spend New Year's Eve together. For the occasion I will wear something daring but très elegant. Something that only a pig could wear. Something that has the cool refinement of Grace Kelly and the oomph of Wonder Woman.

I would do anything for my beloved Kermy, including cutting off all of my hair. But I prefer he take one of my wigs instead.

When asked by People Magazine to compare their marriage to other wildly romantic couples, Miss Piggy answered, "Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers." Kermit, however, thought a more fitting comparison would be "Roy Rogers and Trigger."

The first time I met Kermie, I heard violins, I saw fireworks, and I felt as if I were walking on air. And Kermie says the first moment he saw me, his flippers tingled. Ant the time he thought that that meant it was going to rain, but later he realized its true meaning.

One day at the water cooler, we found ourselves face to face…He looked into my eyes and softly said, “Miss, you're standing on my flipper.” And the rest is history.

Each year, moi gives Kermit the same Valentine's Day gift - moi!!! It's something I know he likes, he can't return it…and I know it's not something he would pick out for himself.