Miss Piggy Interview

Us Magazine, August 4, 1881

US:  What's the secret of being such an irresistible woman?

Miss Piggy:  Courage.

US:  Courage - in what sense?

Miss Piggy:  No, no, not courage, carriage - how one carries oneself. One must exude charm, glamour, sexiness, deep understanding and a certain je ne sais quoi.

For instance, if one is going to a party with one's frog, one needn't dress up. If one is in a gym suit and is invited to a party that turns out to be black tie, one carries oneself in such a way that no one notices that one is indeed wearing a gym suit.

It also helps if one karate chops the frog for inviting you like that in the first place. I'm not going to say that this has ever happened, but I think Kermit will agree that it will never happen again.

US:  How does a superstar like you avoid overexposure?

Miss Piggy:  My frog helps me. Kermie holds me level, as it were. He is my rock, my foundation. When I say yes to too many magazine covers, records and films, he says, "Piggy, dear, cool it." It's a very, very special relationship…but don't tell him that.

US:  What do you think about today's morals - or lack of them?

Miss Piggy:  Being the superstar which moi am, all I can say is that I do the best that moi can to make people happy. And Kermie and moi have a certain moral understanding between us.

US:  Would you ever live with Kermit without being married?

Miss Piggy:  Being a lady, I truly don't think that's something I should just bandy about. That's something between one's frog and oneself.

US:  We keep reading that you and Kermit plan to get married in the future. What's the scoop?

Miss Piggy:  Kermie and I, of course, will get married in the future. This is a given. It's something that everyone knows - except the frog. But he'll come around.

I do think, however, that my career must come first. But in about six months, I think Kermie and I will start seriously discussing it. I'd prefer that you not tell him this because he hadn't heard it from me yet.

US: Is it possible to combine a successful career and a family?

Miss Piggy:  Yes, I believe one can - if one has an understanding frog.

Fortunately, I have reached a position of superstardom. And I feel, particularly because moi am soooo good with children, that superstardom and supermotherhood are in the future. I'm thrilled about it myself. You won't tell Kermit about this, will you?

US:  You've worked with many handsome leading men in your career. Who are some of your favorite ones?

Miss Piggy:  Now that you've asked be about The Great Muppet Caper, which I personally did not want to bring up, I must say that John Cleese has a certain manliness. Johnny and I got along famously because there's some sort of rapport between Johnny and moi that only a pig and a 6'7" man understand.

And another person I enjoyed was dear, dear, sweet Peter Ustinov. I suppose I like him because of his cute little beardy-poo - and because he makes Kermit jealous. I like that. I kind of enjoy seeing my frog turn greener.

US:  Speaking of men, what qualifications do you find most appealing?

Miss Piggy:  Flippers. They're my magnificent obsession. And the frog's got 'em. They drive me up the wall !

US:  How do you like making movies, as opposed to working in television? Will more film work improve your career?

Miss Piggy:  I'm just a silly lady and I don't know these things. Talk to my press agent. All I can tell you is that I rather enjoy making movies because they have your own chair for you. They did in The Great Muppet Caper.

Mind you, I'm not plugging the movie. I don't want it to sound like I'm plugging The Great Muppet Caper. I know it's a fabulous movie, because moi wears all these fashions and has exciting chases. But I don't want to give the impression that I'm plugging the movie - no matter how terrific it is! I wouldn't do that.

I'm not one to go on talk shows and talk about my movies. Our movie, The Great Muppet Caper, doesn't need that, especially with moi in it. Please, don't ask me any more questions about The Great Muppet Caper.

US:  What was your favorite scene?

Miss Piggy:  Now that you've asked me about The Great Muppet Caper, which I personally did not want to bring up, it was the kissing scene with Kermie.

US:  But we heard that you and Charles Gondin…

Miss Piggy:  Yes, well, I do want to deny any rumors about Chuckie and moi. He is just a very dear friend, that's all. And Kermie was very understanding. During my scene with Chuckie, Kermie just stood in the wings - with a lawyer.

US:  Speaking of lawyers, what do you think of palimony suits?

Miss Piggy:  Being a single pig in this world is rather difficult, but if one makes the proper decisions in life, if one truly realizes when one has true love, like my Kermie, one needn't be involved in a palimony or frog-imony suit.

US:  What do you think about the current crop of kiss-and-tell books?

Miss Piggy:  They lack dignity. There are things one says and does - between two human beings, or between frog and pig - that should stay in trust for eternity.

US:  What if you needed money?

Miss Piggy:  All right, then I'd talk.

US:  How do you deal with groupies?

Miss Piggy:  Fortunately, moi has fans that respect our privacy. They know that Kermie and I need to go off by ourselves occasionally. But they do ask for autographs. That's what's wonderful - that Kermie and I have a life together and also can entertain all my many fans…and Kermit, too.

US:  Do you have an interest in furthering your recording career?

Miss Piggy:  Of course, moi had made records. As Kermit once told me, with a voice like mine, there's not much else one can do except announce dinner or make records. I'm sure he meant that in the nicest way.

US:  Would you comment about your relationship with Frank Oz?

Miss Piggy:  Who?

US:  In your book, Miss Piggy's Guide to Life (Knopf, $12.95), you said you owed Frank Oz gratitude.

Miss Piggy:  Oh, I think I met him once. I don't recall. I'm so terribly busy with autographs and such. But I'm certain he's a nice man.

US:  It's been said that show business and politics are the same thing. After all, President Reagan was an actor. Do you have any political aspirations?

Miss Piggy:  I'm just a silly little lady. I know nothing about politics of finances or anything of the sort. All I do is make my frog happy and millions of people around the world happy by doing what moi does best: singing, dancing, looking glamorous and being the best actress in this or any other time.

US:  How would you respond to accusations that you're narcissistic?

Miss Piggy:  I'd really rather not bring religion into this.

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