Miss Piggy Interview

Redbook, September, 1980

Redbook:  Miss Piggy, you are obviously a pig in her prime now. But do you ever worry about getting older?

Miss Piggy:  A woman does not grow older, she grows fuller. A woman has wrinkles for every moment of her life, and I can't wait for when my wrinkles to show my life. [Then as an aside: ] Actually, we pigs have perfect skin and I ain't ever gonna get 'em.

Redbook:  Do you use special beauty preparations of any kind?

Miss Piggy:  No, this is moi. My makeup is all organic - a pig's skin is quite delicate. Many people like Cheryl Ladd and Raquel Welch ask me for the secret of my beauty and I must tell them that it's all God-given.

Redbook:  Would you care to comment on the other sex symbols of the day?

Miss Piggy:  I'm sorry…Other sex symbols?

Redbook:  Well, you are certainly a sex symbol yourself…

Miss Piggy:  …and I am a fashion taste-setter.

Redbook:  Absolutely.

Miss Piggy:  You were going to say that, weren't you?

Redbook:  Those were my very next words. About sex symbols…Would you care to comment, maybe, on Bo Derek?

Miss Piggy:  Who? Oh, she's a sweet, dear girl. And I'm certain her hair will come out naturally one day.

Redbook:  I think I saw you posing for some photographs in Bo Derek braids.

Miss Piggy:  No. You saw Bo Derek posing in my braids.

Redbook:  I hesitate to call them "pigtails."

Miss Piggy:  You have good taste.

Redbook:  Do you think the word "pig" has been ill-used in the English language?

Miss Piggy:  There are phrases and words that have to do with my particular species-type person and I'm not averse to them, but I think they're often badly used. "Male chauvinist pig," for example. - It's silly. I could show you some male chauvinist frogs that would curl your toes.

Redbook:  How do you deal with male chauvinists of any species, frog, man of whatever?

Miss Piggy:  I just laugh in their faces and kick them in the stomach.

Redbook:  Do you recommend using karate?

Miss Piggy:  Karate has been a good exercise for moi to maintain my voluptuous figure. I learned it by a mail order course - "Karate by Cassette."

Redbook:  Do you think men are more interested in your mind or your body?

Miss Piggy:  I do have a body men would love to see. My mind speaks for itself, of course.

Redbook:  Do you have any problems with your figure?

Miss Piggy (icily):  Why do you ask? Hmmmmmmmmm?

Redbook:  I just thought you might share some thoughts about dressing for the Rubenesque figure.

Miss Piggy:  My frog enjoys a fuller figure. I don't have a fuller figure, of course. We pigs are just naturally voluptuous. Fortunately, I have no weight problem. I can eat whatever I like.

Redbook:  What are some of your favorite foods?

Miss Piggy:  Champagne. Those little chocolates with the lit-tle bitty fruits in them. And then just the normal fare - coquilles Saint-Jacques, duck à ľ orange.

Redbook:  Are you a good cook?

Miss Piggy:  It's not that I'm a bad cook. It's just that some would say my talents lie elsewhere. I order very well. Just give me a menu and - wham! I'll order like crazy.

Redbook:  I don't suppose you would order sweet-and-sour pork?

Miss Piggy:  You're pushing it, lady.

Redbook:  Pigs-in-a-blanket?

Miss Piggy:  Cute, Aimee, cute. Next question.

Redbook:  What do you do at the end of a hard day's work?

Miss Piggy:  I work at keeping my career going. I study acting. I have vocal lessons, dance lessons, and Kermie and I spend lots of time together apr ès work, if you know what I mean.

Redbook:  Do you go out much?

Miss Piggy:  Sometimes. We go to the theater - the classics. Opera. Anything culturally significant. I often get invited by my many show business friends to premieres and such. I must turn down most invitations, primarily because Kermit only has one tux.

Redbook:  Is Kermit is your idea of a "10" in a frog?

Miss Piggy (in a throaty voice):  You got it, kid. He has flippers that won't stop.

Redbook:  What makes him a "10?"

Miss Piggy:  It's obvious. He's green. He rarely wears clothes - already that's grabber. Only that cute little collar. It drives me up a wall. I had several - how do you say? - male friends before I met Kermit, and they were not necessarily frogs - they were of the human species. And they were very sweet, dear people. But when I first saw that little green hunk, I went absolutely out of my gourd.

Redbook:  Was the feeling mutual?

Miss Piggy (leaning towards me, as if to share a secret):  Kermit, from the very first moment he saw moi - is he around? - has been desperately in love with me.

Redbook:  What do you think of the new idea of couples living together without being married? [She turns away for a moment and I'm afraid I've offended her.] Miss piggy? Your blue eyes are flashing. Were you shocked?

Miss Piggy:  No, I wasn't shocked. My blue eyes always flash. It is my curse. Living together is fine as long as there is true, true love. That means it comes from the heart.

Redbook:  Do you hope to someday have children?

Miss Piggy:  Yes. Fortunately, I am very, very good with children. [She makes her point by jabbing me in the arm.]

Redbook:  And you have a maternal instinct?

Miss Piggy:  For the first week. Than a nanny can come and take the maternal instinct away from me.

[At this point, as if on cue, Jane Henson, wife of Jim who created the Muppets, pokes her nose into the office where we are sitting and asks if Miss Piggy can come out to say hello to some visiting children. "I'm having a sensitive interview here," says Miss Piggy. "But your public is outside," says Jane Henson. "I don't care," says Miss Piggy, her voice rising. "This is Redbook. This is the big time." Finally Miss Piggy relents, disappears for a few minutes then returns, saying, "Sorry, but that was the boss' wife."]

Redbook:  If you could choose to spend the weekend with any man in the world (besides Kermit) - take your pick of movie stars, politicians, royalty - who would you pick?

Miss Piggy:  They're all nice boys, but I'm a one-frog pig.

Redbook:  Have you ever been unfaithful to Kermit?

Miss Piggy:  I have never been unfaithful, nor will I ever be. I lust in my heart for my frog. I do feel interest in other men. I can't close my eyes to them.

Redbook:  Perhaps you could tell me about some of your favorite guest stars that have been on the show.

Miss Piggy (sighing):  It's rather difficult because they get a little jealous. If I had to name one, if I were to say dear Rudolf Nureyev or dear Elton John or dear Raquel - who is a deep, deep friend of mine who asks me many beauty secrets - they might get jealous, so I'd rather not. [She pauses.] They also use me for cheap publicity.

Redbook:  I think one of the greatest moments in TV history was when you and Nureyev were together in the steam bath. You fulfilled one of the fantasies of all women when you tried to pull off his towel.

Miss Piggy (running a hoof through her hair and lifting her chin aristocratically):  I felt I was being symbolic of all women at that point. The towel was something I didn't think women wanted to see. I thought there was something more interesting underneath it. Afterward, or course, Rudolf asked me out, but I was busy. I had to do my hair that evening.

Redbook:  Does Kermit ever get jealous?

Miss Piggy:  He is sooooooooo jealous. But if you asked him, he wouldn't say that - you know frogs - and he acts as though he is not. But if you ask moi, he protests too much.

Redbook:  It must be difficult to have any sense of privacy when there are people hankering for your autograph all the time.

Miss Piggy:  Yes, many people hanker. They hanker a great deal. I expect it. I'm a star. I know my obligations.

Redbook:  Does the roar of the crown ever get to you?

Miss Piggy:  I love it. I have worked toward this moment. I enjoy the cascades of laughter and applause coming from the audience. I have beloved fans and…but, yes, it gets to me. The truth is that I am just a woman and sometimes it's too much for moi. If I could just have some time alone, maybe walking near a waterfall, just Kermit and me and a few photographers.

Redbook:  Are you a hedonist?

Miss Piggy:  I have a certain joie de vivre. (That's French.)

Redbook:  I hope this isn't indelicate of me…

Miss Piggy:  I'm certain it will be. Your questions have been really racy. Yes?

Redbook:  Do you ever sleep in the buff?

Miss Piggy:  No, just in bed, usually. Buffs are too small for me... That was a joke. No, no, I don't sleep in the nude. [breathily] I feel there is truly a wardrobe for every occasion.

Redbook:  What does Kermit call you? "Miss Piggy" sounds a little formal.

Miss Piggy:  He calls me "Piggy." Sometimes - no, I don't want to say it. Well, I could say it. Sometimes…well, once he called me [very softly] "peepsiboo." Oh, don't ask me to say it again! It was a term of endearment. Sometimes he also calls me, "Hey, you." which I take to mean, "Hey, you beautiful doll."

Redbook:  Have you thought of changing your name to "Ms. Piggy?" It would make Gloria Steinem happy.

Miss Piggy:  I understand the reason for the "Ms." But I feel that a woman doesn't have to be called "Ms." in order to be a woman of her own making. I believe "Miss" allows moi to be a woman, and my karate gets me anything else.

Redbook:  Do you support the Equal Rights Amendment?

Miss Piggy:  Could you explain that to me please?

Redbook:  ERA would be an amendment to the US Constitution stating that equality of rights under the law shall not be abridged or denied on account of a person's sex.

Miss Piggy:  On account of sex? Hmmmm. Not species? No EPA?

Redbook:  I think ERA would also apply to pigs, to females of all species.

Miss Piggy:  I shall certainly read up on the subject.

Redbook:  You are really an enviable woman - you have fame, work, a frog…

Miss Piggy:  I am a happy person. I enjoy people and life. But there are times when I get depressed. [She is speaking haltingly - this must be a sensitive subject for her.] It is difficult. As we women know, depression is something one has to live with.

Redbook:  What can you do to make yourself feel better?

Miss Piggy:  Buy expensive things and charge them to Kermit.

Redbook:  What makes you really angry? What gets your goat? Oops, should I have used the word "goat?"

Miss Piggy:  It's Okay. You were close, though. Pig jokes.

Redbook:  Sorry. It slips into the language.

Miss Piggy:  What is an expression that you would use if moi weren't here?

Redbook:  Maybe "pigging out?"

Miss Piggy:  Why should it be "pig out?" Why not "dog out?" Why not "gnu out?" There's no reason it has to be "pig out."

Redbook:  The question I was getting to was - What makes you fighting mad?

Miss Piggy:  Pig jokes [gritting her teeth] And anyone who touches my frog.

Redbook:  Hands off, huh?

Miss Piggy:  Hands off, feet off, ears off - I'll take 'em all off if they touch my frog.

Redbook:  Do you feel like you're in competition with other women, with other female stars of the day, for instance. Or do you think there's room in this world for you and Farrah Fawcett?

Miss Piggy [sweetly, yet with venom]:  Who? Oh, I feel that there is no need for two women to vie for a man's attention. Neither should they vie for the spotlight unto themselves. [She looks at me straight in the eye.] Are you going to spell my name right for this article?

Redbook:  Do you remember the scene in Gone With the Wind where Rhett Butler confesses that the person whose respect means the most to him in the whole world is Mammy? Whose respect means most to you?

Miss Piggy:  Moi.

Redbook:  Oh, that's a lovely thought. - self respect. And is there one message you would like to send out to females of all species?

Miss Piggy:  Follow your dream. Because if you do, you may find your frog.

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