Miss Piggy Interview

PEOPLE, July 16, 1984

In this Miss Piggy interview, she and Kermit the Frog discuss what really happened at the end of “The Muppets Take Manhattan.”

WELL, ARE THEY MARRIED OR NOT???

PEOPLE:  Miss, Piggy, congratulations.

MISS PIGGY:  Thank you. But we’ve always been married in our heart of hearts. This only makes if officiel.

KERMIT:  This makes it nothing. We’re not married.

MISS PIGGY:  We are.

KERMIT:  We’re not. I was playing a part. The script said, ‘Kermit says, “I do,”’ so I did. Do you think if you commit a crime in a movie, they put you in jail?

MISS PIGGY AND KERMIT HAVE A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT VIEW OF THE MARRIAGE.

PEOPLE:  Wait a minute. Are you comparing being married to Miss Piggy to being in jail?

KERMIT:  You said it, not me.

MISS PIGGY:  I want you to know that Kermit does not speak like this in private. In private he is a very romantic frog. This is a public façade. You have to understand frogs.

PEOPLE:  What other wildly romantic couples would you compare with you and Kermit?

MISS PIGGY:  Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

KERMIT:  Roy Rogers and Trigger.

MISS PIGGY:  This is not funny at all. This is moi’s life.

PEOPLE:  Miss Piggy, when did you first realize your prince would turn out to be a frog?

MISS PIGGY:  The moment we met, at a beauty contest I was in years ago. Naturally, moi won.

PEOPLE:  Did you think then that you would someday be betrothed?

MISS PIGGY:  I didn’t think. A woman knows.

KERMIT:  I’m sorry, I missed that. Were you talking about marriage again?

AND THE HONEYMOON. DON’T FORGET THE HONEYMOON.

PEOPLE:  I know you’ve been busy. But what kind of honeymoon do you plan?

MISS PIGGY:  A small cozy cottage, a roaring fire, a warm blanket over us. And just a few photographers.

CHILDREN???

PEOPLE:  What kind of parents will you be?

MISS PIGGY:  Loving, desperately caring, but at the same time respectful of the children’s feelings. Smothering but respectful.

Kermit:  Our children might be little green pigs. Or big pink frogs. It’s hard for me to conceive of us having babies, if you’ll excuse that phrase, which is one of the reasons I wasn’t ready to get married.

MARRIAGE OR CARRIER?

PEOPLE:  Do you think you may retire now that you’re married?

MISS PIGGY:  I don’t know. I’m at a point in my career where I have to decide what’s more important to me, whether I should continue that mad, dashing pace of being a superstar or just stay at home waiting for my frog.

HER JEALOUS? HE WOULDN’T DARE!

PEOPLE:  If you stop working, do you think Kermit will have to find other leading ladies – say Elizabeth Taylor?

MISS PIGGY:  I suppose you think I’m going to be jealous now. Well, I’m not. I understand a professional relationship. I understand an actor’s need to express himself.

PEOPLE:  Miss Piggy, can you imagine Kermit ever leaving you for another pig?

MISS PIGGY:  Why should he, when he can have everything he’s ever wanted in this body?

KERMIT: There certainly is a lot there.

HE STILL TRYING TO GET OUT OF IT.

PEOPLE:  Have you picked out a ring?

KERMIT:  A ring? That reminds me. I don’t think you can be legally married without a ring.

MISS PIGGY:  Of course you can. All you need is a tuxedo.

KERMIT:  And a blood test. You can’t be married without a blood test!

MISS PIGGY:  Who ever heard of a pig and a frog having a blood test?

KERMIT:  It’s the law.

MISS PIGGY:  Laws can be waived. Moi waived it.

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