Miss Piggy Interview

McCALL’s December, 1980

In this interview, Miss Piggy describes how she plans to spend Christmas day.

McCall’s:  Miss Piggy, would you please tell us how you plan to spend Christmas Day?

Miss Piggy:  With my frog. How else?

McCall’s:  Do you put up a tree?

Miss Piggy:  Of course. However, moiself doesn’t do it. I usually convince a big, strong man to do it for me. And if there’s not one of them around, a small green frog will do.

McCall’s:  Do you trim with special ornaments?

Miss Piggy:  Yes. My flair for decorating comes out in trimming the tree. Moi, I am a traditionalist. I use candy canes, cookies, strings of corncobs and a teensy photo of moiself for the top. It seems appropriate that the star at the top of my tree is moi.

McCall’s:  Do you have special traditions you observe every year?

Miss Piggy:  Yes. Making certain I am not under the mistletoe when Gonzo is around.

McCall’s:  Now that you’re an internationally sought-after superstar, has it changed the ways in which you celebrate the holidays?

Here the topic changes to Kermit.

Miss Piggy:  No. I celebrate it the same as always….just a warm, cozy evening with my frog and my loved ones. And a few photographers.

McCall’s:  What present do you think Kermit will give you?

Miss Piggy:  I don’t know, but I’m certain it will cost a lot. Of course, I know it’s the thought that counts. But why not make it an expensive thought?

McCall’s:  What present are you giving Kermit?

Miss Piggy:  A karate chop if his present isn’t très fabulous. However, I would be willing to settle for a simple diamond in the rough.

McCall’s:  And if Kermit doesn’t come through?

Miss Piggy:  Actually, I do have a big present for him, but I can’t tell you what it is, because if I tell you and he reads this interview, when he’ll know what it is, and he won’t go ‘Oooh’ and ‘Aaah’ and ‘Oh, Piggy, you shouldn’t have!’ and I do so want him to go ‘Oooh’ and ‘Aaah!’

On the topic of shopping and presents.

McCall’s:  Do you do your own Christmas shopping?

Miss Piggy:  Although I’m a busy superstar, I think presents need a personal touch. I shop for gifts moiself – usually in large department stores where my fans can mob me.

McCall’s:  Do you ever make homemade presents?

Miss Piggy:  Yes. Every year I bake a batch of gingerbread frogs. Kermie and all my friends just, ah, pig out on them.

McCall’s:  What’s the best present you’ve ever received?

Miss Piggy: A hug and a kiss from Kermie one year after we had a Christmas Eve fight. I had tried to hang his stockings by the chimney with care. Unfortunately, he was still in them.

McCall’s:  Your worst gift?

Miss Piggy:  A plastic pepper grinder that played ‘Malagueña’ when you turned it. I got heartburn just listening.

The topic turns to her childhood.

McCall’s:  How did you spend Christmas as a piglet?

Miss Piggy:  We had wonderful Christmases. My father would sing to me and tell me how special I was. "Have Yourself a Piggy Little Christmas" was my favorite.

McCall’s:  Tell us about your family.

Miss Piggy:  We were very happy. But I would prefer not to talk about my family any more.

Of course, we must get some of her unique beauty tips.

McCall’s:  As part of our December issue, we’re giving our readers some special beauty tips. Do you do anything to make yourself sparkle for the holidays? Such as put glitter on your snout or holly in your ears?

Miss Piggy:  A superstar such as moi needs no artifice. Glitter on my snout is garish and a teensy-weensy ostentatious. Besides, it would make me sneeze. And holly in my ears just gives me a headache.

McCall’s:  Please, Miss Piggy, can you give us some beauty tips?

Miss Piggy:  Especially for the Christmas season I use a champagne shampoo, followed by an eggnog rinse. It gives my hair extra body. And if I take a bath in the stuff, it gives my body extra body, too.

McCall’s:  Do you set your hair?

Miss Piggy:  Moi hair has natural curls. So does my tail.

On the topic of Santa Claus.

McCall’s:  Do you believe in Santa Claus?

Miss Piggy:  In everyone’s heart there is a Santa Claus. And my heart is large enough to accommodate several.

McCall’s:  Do you lie awake on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa Claus to come down your chimney?

Miss Piggy:  I enjoy having a certain someone come down my chimney – that is, if he’s green and has flippers, if you get my drift.

The topic, once again, turns to Kermit.

McCall’s:  Who would you most like to find under your tree on Christmas morning?

Miss Piggy:  Kermie, of course. He is my own Silent Knight.

McCall’s:  Has anyone asked you out for New Year’s Eve?

Miss Piggy:  Kermie and I always spend New Year’s Eve together. For the occasion I will wear something daring but très elegant. Something that only a pig could wear. Something that has the cool refinement of Grace Kelly and the oomph of Wonder Woman.

A touchy subject.

McCall’s:  A traditional meal for New Year’s Day is baked ham. Does that offend your sensibilities?

Miss Piggy:  That is barbaric. Next question.

On sports.

McCall’s:  On New Year’s Day, people often watch football games on television. Do you enjoy football?

Miss Piggy:  I, moiself, have always enjoyed a good scrimmage.

How she avoids post Christmas letdown.

McCall’s:  Miss Piggy, some people suffer from a post-Christmas letdown when the holidays are through. Do you ever find yourself getting depressed when Christmas is over?

Miss Piggy:  At such times, I turn within myself to find an inner strength. Eating hot-fudge sundaes helps, too.

Kermit, again.

McCall’s:  In O. Henry’s famous Christmas story “The Gift of the Magi,” a poor, young woman cuts off her hair and sells it to get money to buy a gift for the husband she loves. Would you do such a thing for your loved one?

Miss Piggy:  I would do anything for my beloved Kermie, including cutting off all of my hair. But I prefer he take one of my wigs instead.

Her message for the world.

McCall’s:  How would you sum your feelings about the spirit of Christmas? What is your message for the world this holiday season?

Miss Piggy:  To moi, the spirit of Christmas is summed up in one word: Caring. Gifts, large dinners and playing miniature golf on Christmas are all important, but people you care for and people who care for you…that is what Christmas is all about. On New Year’s Eve I will have Kermie with me and people I care about. Except Gonzo who is a creep and Rizzo the Rat who smells.

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